Specific Positive Feedback

Becky Bailey is by far one of my favorite educational authors and can teach us so much about children’s social emotional development. She often discusses the power of noticing the good in each other and giving specific feedback as a way of encouraging positive change. What we focus on will grow. If we tell them what they are good at and attach feeling to it, change will happen.

Examples of specific positive feedback

It is clear to me how much hard work you put into your homework today. You sat at your desk for twenty minutes and I saw you writing and studying. I also see you showed your work here while doing this addition problem. This is a sign that you are a strong achiever. What do you think about your work today?

Look at this beautiful drawing you have been working so hard on. This rainbow you drew is so detailed and look, you put all the colors in the right order. It looks like you are happy when you are creating something and that makes me happy to see you happy. How did you feel when you made this picture?

Look! You ate three of your carrots. That is healthy choice that your body is appreciating right now. How is your tummy feeling right now?

When you shared the hula hoop with your sister it made her smile, did you notice that? I really enjoy seeing how kind you are to her. It makes my heart warm. Did you like making her smile when you shared?

Now you have some examples, go try it in the moment. It may feel unnatural at first and that’s okay. Just try your best! Your kids will love it and will feel so connected to you. State what you appreciate in the moment and try to be specific as possible. Connect your feelings to it. Then if it feels right, ask them a question from your curiosity.